


Well That's Not Sexy

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Communication, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Mild Sexual Content, Motorboating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 12:15:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: It’s an average night for Tony and Natasha, and he thinks they’re old and boring. They work on it.





	Well That's Not Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> So I had to look up motorboating on urban dictionary, and I literally cannot fathom doing that to someone you're in a relationship with. This fic is titled appropriately imo, and the text definitely reflects that. Also fun fact: motorboating isn't an official tag on AO3. If you click on it, it brings you to boats XD

Pre-Afghanistan, Tony had been a genius, billionaire, playboy. Post-Afghanistan, Tony was a genius, billionaire, philanthropist. The playboy title had been dropped, but nobody else acknowledged that. They probably _should_ have figured it out because it’s been a year since he and Natasha had been out to the public-- two years in private, and two and a half if you counted their ‘are we dating or are we just sleeping together’ phase-- but he never credited the papers with much smarts. Hell, the only credible reason-- and he used that term _very_ loosely-- the playboy label was still around was because Natasha was fucking gorgeous, and had the type of body people jerked off to pictures of.

Anyways, the point is that Tony and Natasha had met at a military hospital while they were both recovering, and her sexual appeal was the last thing on Tony’s mind for about five months. So while he understood that people jumped to the conclusion that he didn’t love her more than just about everything, it wasn’t any less insulting to their relationship.

Tony got home from the hospital and got rid of the weapons division-- technically he changed it, because like hell was he going to put that many people out of a job, and he did replace it with other divisions, but he got rid of it. He reworked the company to actively do good in the world, and he started correcting all the wrongs he’d made. When Natasha got stateside, she resigned her commision and took up his offer to work for Stark Industries.

In an effort to not inadvertently ruin her job, Tony didn’t even know what she did, and Natasha was more than okay with that. “I don’t see how, though. Not judging, I just mean that I don’t get it.” Tony said as they were finishing up dinner one night. “I tell you about my day and what I worked on, and you don’t say anything.”

She gave him a flat look as she twisted her fork in the last of the noodles. “I put numbers from one column into another. Believe me Tony, you hear about everything interesting that goes on.”

“You talk about pranking the other people in the office, and nothing else.”

“Like I said,” she said, muffled around her food, “you hear about everything interesting.”

Tony chuckled, and she didn’t think she was imagining that it seemed a little empty. “Do you ever get actual work done down there?” he teased.

She shrugged. “As much as people on other floors, according to Coulson.”

They ate in silence for a minute, searching for the handful of mostly empty containers hidden amongst the completely empty ones, and Natasha noticed that Tony seemed down. “You want to try something new tonight?”

“If you want,” he said neutrally.

She set her fork down and moved to the seat next to him, brushing her fingers over the back of his hand. When he turned his hand to her slightly, she took it. “Antosha, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing.”

She raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“You’re going to laugh at me.”

“Possibly,” she admitted, “but I won’t judge as much as Pepper would.”

Tony made a considering noise, then told her, “I’m old and boring.”

“You’re forty. And we’re the same age.”

“Yeah but you don’t have grey in your hair.”

“Does the phrase ‘silver fox’ mean nothing to you?”

“You’re not helping."

“I have never claimed to be helpful. Besides, silver fox has its own genre in porn, you’re hot stuff.”

“Fine, silver fox, I can roll with that. How about the fact that I’m boring?”

This time, Natasha did laugh, shaking her head and giving his hand a somewhat condescending pat. “Just because you’re not getting wasted at parties and blowing up your lab every day doesn’t make you boring.”

“It’s seven on a Friday, and we just finished eating. Up next? Deciding what movie we’ll watch while cuddling on the couch before going to bed at ten.”

“Please see: we’re _forty_. If your definition of living life is acting like a twenty-three year old, I can’t help you.”

“You’re right, you can’t help me,” Tony said, but he was grinning. “I acted like I was twenty-three for a solid fifteen years, I know how to do it pretty damn well.” He shrugged, standing up and grabbing the empty cartons. “Acting like an adult isn’t one of my skills.”

“I know one skill you do have,” she said suggestively, which found them ten minutes later in their room, Natasha on her back with her shirt and bra off.

“Are you sure about this?” Tony asked, hands cupping her breasts and thumbing over a nipple. She shivered, arching up slightly.

“It’s definitely something people do.”

“It doesn’t sound like it would be very sexy. I mean, ‘motorboating’? Really?”

“I think the idea is getting your head that close to my tits.”

“If you say so,” he muttered. “Here goes nothing.” He put his mouth between her breasts and made the ‘brr’ noise for approximately .7 seconds before he broke down giggling.

Natasha shifted, trying to get rid of the sensation. “Yeah you were right, that was just weird.”

“And not- at all- sexy,” he gasped between laughs. His forehead was resting on her collarbone as his laughter tapered off, and he rubbed the section between her breasts to dissipate the lingering feeling.

“Let’s never do that again,” she suggested. “It’s vanilla sex for the next week until I gain back my confidence.”

Tony snorted. “You regain confidence in a _day_ , not a week. But no complaints here.” He spent the next half hour paying attention to her in a _much_ more enjoyable-- and sexy-- way.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr [@cami-chats](http://cami-chats.tumblr.com)


End file.
